How to Show Love Through Writing

Valentine's Day has passed. And both Husband and I forgot to get a card or flowers for it! Thankfully, all is not lost. I have lists upon lists of ideas for ways in which you can show your love, for whomever you love, through whatever you write.

What is love? (Reframing the question.)

Why do I need to ask this right off the bat? Because defining terms is essential to being understood and making a point. For a long time, since the first time I read The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis, I realized that love is less of a noun ("person, place, or thing/feeling") and more of a verb ("action").

Lewis talks about love in terms of the four Greek terms for it:

• Storge, or family love. This can be described as affection between family members, biological or nonbiological.
• Phileo, or friendship love. This is a closer, deeper kind of affection that generally involves kind actions taken toward another person.
• Eros, or romantic love. Most people would probably think of this kind of affection around Valentine's Day. This kind is associated with specific (generally sexual) actions between someone and the significant other.
• Agape, or self-sacrificial/divine love. God initiates this kind toward us; the most powerful manifestation of this sort of love is the substitutionary death of Jesus for the sin and sins of each person throughout history.

Because the topic of love has been so fraught with pugnacious arguments these days, I want to talk about another book that informs the Christian's understanding of love, written for the non-Christian. Sam Alberry's 128-page read, Why does God care who I sleep with?, walks through the biblical and rational and historical basis for why Christians see love and specifically marriage the way they do, as a life-long union between one man and one woman, not grounded in feelings but in commitment to supporting each other and procreating.

With that context, let's think about whom we might love, through writing.

Who is my audience?

I can think of at least five potential audiences to whom one can show love, through writing and other means. 

Perhaps the most obvious audience to come to mind is one's significant other, or a close friend if there is no significant other. Any of the 4 types of love can and should be expressed to the significant other, and (in the Christian moral system) 3 types for a close friend.

Another somewhat natural audience one can love through writing is children, whether one's own or children of friends one knows well. Phileo and agape love are appropriate to express in these situations.

A third audience is God. According to Martin Luther, everyone has a god as defined as "that from which we are to expect all good and to which we are to take refuge in all distress" (Large Catechism, First Commandment, 2). So, even if you identify as a None, you have a god . . . think about it. For those in faith traditions who have a god outside of themselves, the way of communicating with this entity is through prayer. Most people speak or read their prayers, and some also write them down. A prayer journal is an excellent way to write your love for God. Agape love is the love which we strive to have toward God.

A fourth audience, perhaps outside the box, is one's known readers. For teachers, the known readers are their students, colleagues, and supervisors, depending on the publication (lecture notes, scholarly articles, self-reflections, etc.). For celebrities, known readers are their fans. Authors, teachers, and celebrities have various purposes in writing, in which love can be shown through intentional clarity, humor, and truth-telling.

Similarly, a fifth outside-the-box audience is one's unknown readers. My main example for this is a book author who does not know who will actually pick up a copy of the book, and so much envision a "target" reader. As with audience #4, authors can show love through specific aspects of their writing.

What kinds of writing might I use?

Although I had known before that all of these types of writing exist, I hadn't thought to put them together until now. Main source is Oxford-Royale. Hopefully, this list will spark some ideas for you as well.

1. Academic essay: a structured work of varying length, striving to be straightforward for respect for the reader's time and intellect.
2. Business article or brief: a structured work of very short length, striving to be straightforward and brief (if without charm) for respecting the reader's time.
3. Diary: a personal, often-anonymous, reflective record of one's thoughts and life, "for my eyes only."
4. Eulogy: a speech or poem written as a tribute to one who has died, to show honor to their memory.
5. Journalism: an article of varied length written to be informative and engaging, to show respect for readers' time and interest.
6. Letter to the editor: shorter than a journalist's article; must be interesting, humorous, polite, and to the point.
7. Marketing copy: extremely brief, used in advertising as a call to action or to create and reinforce a brand.
8. Memoir: similar to a diary, but intended a priori for publication.
9. Poetry: a very loose category of ideas or concepts expressed with atypical grammar and style.
10. Prose: another large category of non-poetic writing that varies by length and genre (see below).
11. Script: a story told exclusively through dialogue and stage directions. Love through clarity and metaphor.
12. Speech: a timed script to be persuasive and entertaining; prioritizes knowing one's audience immediately.

What forms of prose can I use?

Because prose has so many genres, I want to spell out a list of those a little more deeply. If prose is the medium you want to use to express love to your intended audience, consider one of these genres:

1. Bildungsroman: a type of prose I had not heard of, but when I break apart the German etymology of the word into "education" + "novel", it makes sense that this type of book follows a single character from birth through adulthood, focusing on psychological and moral development.
2. Dystopian: a subtype of speculative fiction that looks at the world from a worst-case "what-if" point of view.
3. Fantasy: a subtype of speculative fiction that can be set in present, past, or future, with less-than-realistic elements prevalent.
4. Historical: either fictional or nonfictional--so it's important to discern the actual history at the outset!
5. Horror: not something I dive into on this blog or in my TBR list.
6. Literary fiction: specifically driven more by character development than by plot.
7. Magical realism: similar to fantasy, but the emphasis is on a mostly-realistic setting with a few fantastical or magical elements.
8. Mystery: some of my favorites are by Agatha Christie, though it's been a number of years since I read one of her novels.
9. Realism: in setting, characters, and plot, the opposite of fantasy or magical.
10. Romance: also not something I dive into on this blog or in my TBR list.
11. Science fiction: either realistic or magical, emphasizing potential achievements of science that may or may not work in the real world.
12. Speculative fiction: a larger subgenre addressing "what if" by science fiction, dystopian, and fantasy genres.
13. Thriller: similar to horror, not something I get into.
14. Western: set in the U.S. West, usually in the past.

So . . . how do I show love through writing?

My short answer to this question is that you think about your audience and what would best serve them, in whatever type of writing you choose. (Notice how writing can combine words of affirmation and acts of service!) If that is by entertaining, then be supremely entertaining. If that is by informing, write truthfully, accurately, and clearly. And so on!

What are your favorite ways to show someone (child, significant other, friend, or other) you love them?