Saturday, January 7, 2023

Reading with Babies . . . and More?

Whether you've had (a) child(ren) of your own or not, if you're reading this post chances are you want to spend more time reading, good books specifically. In this post, I hope to answer some of the most common questions, and a few uncommon ones, about reading + children.

As you may know, I had a baby in 2022. That changed a few things! Parenthood is still very much a work in process, but here is what I've learned from the experience of myself and others.

What are Benefits of Reading to my Baby? (Why do it at all?)

As the saying goes, you can't pour from an empty cup. So, if you have a newborn and are therefore suddenly deprived of unbroken sleep, the use of your second hand (except if baby wearing), and periods of silence for concentration, you need to benefit from what you are doing for your baby in order to be a better parent!

My husband and I have seen three benefits for ourselves, before and after our baby was born.

First, up to a certain age, babies genuinely don't care what reading material you pick. So, until your child is old enough to bring you a book and strongly request you to read it for the 17th time, you are (mostly) free to choose what interests you, or what you need to read anyway.

Second, you hone your ability to speak dramatically and clearly. This is sure to come in handy by the time your child(ren) is/are theater-aged!

Third, if you want to see how your baby will react to different accents or languages, infancy is a great time to practice your pronunciation of German, Greek, or Middle English. A friend of mine visited his goddaughter when she was 6 months old, and got a confused expression from her upon reading aloud a few paragraphs of Chaucer.

Research and experience show benefits for the babies as well (link here). Related to language, a child's language skills are strongly correlated with exposure in earlier life to spoken language. Specific language skills and elements that a baby learns from being read aloud to include: telling different sounds apart, hearing complex vocabulary, varying sentence structure and cadence, and rhyming. Additionally, reading aloud models standard and non-standard communication elements like turn-taking, gesturing, and intonation.

Babies gain non-language benefits from read-aloud too. They bond emotionally with whomever is speaking to them. One interesting other benefit I recently learned about is that attention span progressively improves as well, which is a prerequisite for building other habits (think Charlotte Mason). The rule of thumb is 2-3 minutes (some sources say up to 5) per year of the child's life, of focused attention.

When Should I Start Reading to my Baby?

Like many parents-to-be, I started talking to and reading to my baby before birth. It helped me bond mentally and emotionally, and familiarize my baby with the sound of my voice. After the birth, I would read aloud when baby was awake, and silently during naps. Due to our family work schedules and fatigue, I unfortunately lost consistency in this habit until baby was 6-8 months old (and started to show interest in books).

At this point, it was a mix of high-quality (read: interesting to adults!) board books and whatever I happened to be reading from my own list. More on those books below. Many good-quality research studies (summarized here) support reading out loud to one's children from birth.

How Can I Read After I Have a Baby?

How can you ensure you read for your own edification after the baby is born? I take these ten points of inspiration from Jocko Willink's podcast on the similar topic of keeping up workouts with a newborn:

  1. Make it happen whenever you can. I am a creature of habit, but this has become a necessity. So many things I thought I could only accomplish at set times of day or on set days of the week, have been pushed into the crevices of time in a newborn's and now almost-toddler's routine.
  2. Abandon thoughts of a set schedule. Same reaction as to the point above. This is harder for some than for others, and I credit my ability to follow this tip to mom brain.
  3. Make sure you take the time to sleep and do other necessary life-sustaining things, too. I'm always eating, and will not refuse a nap when the opportunity presents itself!
  4. Set up some home spaces with ready reading material. This ensures that you can make progress even if the baby has fallen asleep on your lap, in any chair in the house. It happens.
  5. Squeeze in brief periods throughout the day. These can also occur at night, especially in the newborn phase with a first child when you can take naps in daytime to compensate for nighttime sleep interruptions.
  6. While your children and family are first priority - and while life with children is (I think) better than life without - you have to stay healthy (mens sana in corpore sano) for them. By reading when they are very young and beyond, you provide intellectual food for them and set a positive example.
  7. Accept that you won't be in the best shape of your life. This is actually reversed for some people I know . . . as a case in point, my husband's reading frequency skyrocketed with baby.
  8. Tackle the priority of the moment at any given time (sleeping, eating, etc.). This means reading will fall by the wayside during some periods, especially when all the baby does is feed, poop, and cry.
  9. Something is better than nothing. Every little bit adds up!
  10. Lack of reading makes a habitual reader irritable. Your spouse will tell you to get back to that habit so you're more pleasant to be around. So true!

What Should I Read After I Have a Baby?

Very short answer: whatever you can!

My longer, subdivided answer, has Parent picks and Baby picks. My favorite books for myself after baby arrived were nonfiction related to my current pursuits (Anglicanism, homeschooling, and whatever philosophy I can understand without too much specialized vocabulary). Fiction picks have come from a box of Reader's Digest editions, so far, of 1700s-1900s novels, for when my brain can't handle nonfiction.

Baby picks have gotten to be more fun as the little one has gotten more interested in books. The picture below showcases the Christmas bookshelf, omitting some more fun titles (Veggie Tales devotionals, Quantum Physics for Babies, and Experimenting With Babies) that are nearer to the nursery. The overall principle is to follow Baby's visual and auditory development. So, the very first books will be high-contrast with black-and-white illustrations, particularly faces.

Here's what is featured in the picture below, left to right (most links are to Amazon or Concordia Publishing House):

Small bookshelf with science, Sandra Boynton, and Christian titles

Once we officially have a toddler on our hands, I look forward to revisiting some of my own childhood favorites:
  • Berenstain Bears
  • Boxcar Children
  • Nancy Drew
  • Chronicles of Narnia
I hope you enjoyed this post, for yourself, your child(ren), or friends with children. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!


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