- Talk about the (perceived) problem, yes, but wait an hour or two, up to a day.
- Actually listen. This entails the deliberate avoidance of assumptions, pre-judging, and a lack of eye contact. Positively, it means restating the other person's position, then sitting silent and attentive for clarification.
- Try to be the bird looking down from above. See the other side and, no matter how hard it may be, don't mind losing.
- Think before speaking. We teach children that "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" and, come adulthood......forget all about it. Words, once out, are out.
- Choose setting. Don't argue in a speeding car, for this will cause even more speeding. Do *discuss* while not in an antagonistic mood - face each other diagonally, hold hands (couples), model good behavior regardless of whether there are children present.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Do you fight verbally? If so, read this article. Some points particularly relevant, from my experience: