Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Spats

Do you fight verbally? If so, read this article. Some points particularly relevant, from my experience:
  • Talk about the (perceived) problem, yes, but wait an hour or two, up to a day.
  • Actually listen. This entails the deliberate avoidance of assumptions, pre-judging, and a lack of eye contact. Positively, it means restating the other person's position, then sitting silent and attentive for clarification.
  • Try to be the bird looking down from above. See the other side and, no matter how hard it may be, don't mind losing.
  • Think before speaking. We teach children that "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" and, come adulthood......forget all about it. Words, once out, are out.
  • Choose setting. Don't argue in a speeding car, for this will cause even more speeding. Do *discuss* while not in an antagonistic mood - face each other diagonally, hold hands (couples), model good behavior regardless of whether there are children present.
Any more to add, my more mature readers?

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