The volume of newspapers, scientific journals, etc. could be reduced drastically by following this simple dictum: if something goes wrong, give the name, rank, serial number, and "Oops." See?
In science: two satellites (out of about 12,000 orbiting our lovely, isolated planet) collided.
In faces: a woman undergoes a change from blonde to brown hair; her son doesn't recognize her.
2/19/09: The SEC could say it too. Quit blaming Bush for everything already.